Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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