I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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