HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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