Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
