ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
