I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
