so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize