her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
