we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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