was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
