ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize