i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
