Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
