Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
