If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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