he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
