May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
