I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
