Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize