I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
