I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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