You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
