Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
