and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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