so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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