Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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