im drinking this country out of the recession.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
