I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
