Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
