why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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