dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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