well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
His nipple licking is glorious
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