what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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