Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
