I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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