My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
