Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
