How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we're so committed to being not committed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
