I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
