so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
