i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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