i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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