Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
