I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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