Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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