He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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