that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
