Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
