the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
