Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
