When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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