Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it's great music for shaving your balls
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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