Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
