So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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