who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
