so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize