Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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