I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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