well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
