from now on my penis is your penis
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
