Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
