just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
