I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
