I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
