Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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