He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
