Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
