Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
