What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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