You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
