Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
