Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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