ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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