If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
