Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize