Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
