This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
