You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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